She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
