fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
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