just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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