i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
