I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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