good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
