I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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