do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize