put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
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I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
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I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
You ate ashes out of my bong
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