Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Your penis caused this!
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