How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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