I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
