More tranny stories later!
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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