Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
