did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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