My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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