and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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