i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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