do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Randomize