Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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