Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Randomize
