should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
