Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Sober January is a disaster.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
