we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
