Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
