I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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