she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
this hospital has no fireball
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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