idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
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