I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
