your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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