this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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