i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
