i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
