We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
