Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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