Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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