Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
FUCK WHALES
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
