he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
She's the barista slut.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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