Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
