I want you more than these girls want KFC
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
