Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
