is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
