Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
