She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
