Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
