The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Randomize
