My first STD was from a foam party
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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