Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity

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  (586): Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity http://tfl.nu/negt
  Replies (1) Good night (1460) Bad night (610)
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  (518): View more from New York

  i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.

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  (518): i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream. http://tfl.nu/w7qz
  Replies (21) Good night (3818) Bad night (665)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy

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  (816): I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy http://tfl.nu/kyus
  Replies (16) Good night (4867) Bad night (739)
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  (858): View more from California

  It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.

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  (858): It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain. http://tfl.nu/y8ei
  Replies (16) Good night (7076) Bad night (1057)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.

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  (609): my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway. http://tfl.nu/j8p7
  Replies (28) Good night (1433) Bad night (9804)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.

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  (402): Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown. http://tfl.nu/l3ul
  Replies (49) Good night (2373) Bad night (5419)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"

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  (613): She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo" http://tfl.nu/ucwd
  Replies (8) Good night (3257) Bad night (935)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"

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  (636): the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking" http://tfl.nu/px7k
  Replies (11) Good night (5661) Bad night (944)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.

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  (774): just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break. http://tfl.nu/t20t
  Replies (2) Good night (2169) Bad night (820)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...

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  (770): Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well... http://tfl.nu/5d08
  Replies (3) Good night (1981) Bad night (621)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.

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  (734): He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge. http://tfl.nu/yr6w
  Replies (4) Good night (657) Bad night (1617)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.

  (770): View more from Georgia

  That's the only definition of lonely that I know.

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  (910): Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely. (770): That's the only definition of lonely that I know. http://tfl.nu/dtij
  Replies (8) Good night (2221) Bad night (797)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.

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  (404): Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining. http://tfl.nu/2wxu
  Replies (8) Good night (3851) Bad night (626)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.

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  (416): I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing. http://tfl.nu/fg17
  Replies (2) Good night (598) Bad night (998)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.

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  (801): At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good. http://tfl.nu/03g0
  Replies (1) Good night (547) Bad night (612)

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