He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.