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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you

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• (718): View more from New York

  Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  I just did the classiest thing ever.

  (216): View more from Ohio

  last time you said that you got chlamydia.

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.

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• 

  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers

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• (619): View more from California

  Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.

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• (323): View more from California

  He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible

  (310): View more from California

  well did you say yes?

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie

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• (310): View more from California

  If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great

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• (912): View more from Georgia

  No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.

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• (239): View more from Florida

  You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues

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