just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?