so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
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