The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.