Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
