One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
