STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
he shaved USA in his pubs
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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