his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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