been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
