the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
