We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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