if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
