Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
