the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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