after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
